How To Create Reliable Affirmations That Work


Affirmations can seriously change your life AND there’s a right way to do them that isn’t always talked about.

Usually you hear: Pick something positive and say it to yourself again and again and before you know it, TA DA, your life is changed. I know when I first started transforming my life, I didn’t really understand what to say, affirmations didn’t feel right to me so I didn’t really use them as much or as effectively as I could have. I thought affirmations were just putting a sticky note on your mirror and telling myself I was beautiful and I didn’t see how that would help.

In my How Changing My Thoughts Transformed My Life post, I shared how important thoughts really are, and affirmations can certainly help you improve them, so here is what you need to know about effective affirmations.

1. Affirmations need to feel true.

Studies have actually shown that using affirmations can make you feel worse if they don’t feel true for you. If everything feels like it’s going wrong in your life and you’re walking around saying “I love my life,” you will KNOW that it doesn’t feel remotely true, and likely make your current situation feel even worse.

Solution? Create bridges. Using this same example, let’s say the thought you want to get rid of is “I’m fat” and you want to lose weight and love your body but it doesn’t feel true for you right now to say “I am fit” or “I love my body”, say something neutral that IS true. IE “I have a body” or something that is true and not negative. It doesn’t even have to be positive yet, we can focus on just moving your thoughts to neutral territory.

Once things have shifted a bit you can move from there to something more positive.

Maybe “I am grateful to have a body” then “I love X about my body” etc until you get to where you want to be and using the affirmation of “I love my body” doesn’t feel untrue.

Affirmations can be a stretch - that’s generally why we use them, but you don’t want them to feel like they couldn’t be true. Another way create a bridge to affirmations that don’t feel true yet is adding “I am choosing to…” at the beginning. So you could say “I am choosing to love my body” before you go to “I love my body”.

2. Affirmations need to be in the positive.

Nerd fact about your brain - your mind cannot process a negative, meaning you can’t not think about something without thinking about it.

If I say don’t think of a cookie you have to actually think about a cookie to not think about it. We can’t represent the absence. Sounds weird I know, but basically you need the affirmation to be positive ie “I eat food that nourish my body” instead of “I won’t eat cookies”.

The affirmation should focus on leading you toward something good, not away from something bad. If you affirm “I don’t want” or “I’m not” something… you actually are affirming what you don’t want.


3. You need to feel the affirmation.

Mindlessly repeating affirmations will do little to really help. Although repetition is important and it does help our subconscious mind learn (the Illusory Truth Effect explains how if we hear a lie often enough we begin to believe it’s true), we learn so much better when emotion is attached and that is where we can really start to feel the change.

Practise creating the FEELING with intensity that will go along with the affirmation. Think about a time in the past when you felt the feeling, imagine it - if you need to jump around or have a dance party or lie down or whatever it is, do your best to feel the feeling that accompanies the affirmation and practise that as much as possible.

Know the Maya Angelou quote? People won’t forget how you made them feel? Well your brain is like “same”. Give it some good feelings to hold on to.

Got it?

In order to help you master your thoughts for good, I created a 5-day course called Bully to BFF, which includes my day-by-day formula for changing your thoughts for good. Oh, and did I mention it’s free?

Let’s recap:

  1. Affirmations need to feel true (or that they could be true).

  2. Affirmations need to be positive and focused on what you do want (not on what you don’t want).

  3. You need to feel them. Repetition is important but repetition x intensity is what will actually create change.

Have you used affirmations? Do you want to start and have more questions? Let me know in the comments.

How Changing My Thoughts Transformed My Life


For my whole life, I wanted people to think I was happy.

I worried what others thought about me, and I very badly wanted to be perfect in pretty much every way (perfectionist, people pleaser = unhappy Katie).

As you can imagine, I occasionally *ahem* fell short of my insanely high, impossible to achieve expectations of being perfect and having everyone love me.

This created one very miserable girl on the inside - and I hid that for a really long time.

As I got older, I really wanted to be happy and have the confidence I saw in others. I was painfully insecure and it was ruining my joy and my life. But for a long time, I accepted this was how I was - I just wasn’t one of those happy & confident people.

After years of reading any and every article or book I could find on happiness and confidence I discovered one principle that made a MASSIVE impact on my life - and that’s what I want to share with you today.

You don’t have to believe everything you think.

Say what?

It took a while for this concept to even sink in.

It never occurred to me to question the non-stop thoughts in my head -- most times I didn’t even notice they were there.

Once I did notice them - it was a rude awakening, that’s for sure. I consider myself to be a pretty nice person and the things that I was saying to myself non-stop, all day, on repeat we’re not nice things.

As I learned that I didn’t have to believe these thoughts I became pretty obsessed. Now, there’s something you should know about me -- I’m a pretty big nerd! So once I found out this fun fact I couldn’t help but dive into all things thought & brain related.

I learned about thought patterns and creating new ones, why negativity can so easily dominate and lots of other amazing things about our brains and how we can use our mind to create more happiness and confidence. (I’ll share more soon!)

I learned that although my thoughts were not so hot right now, that I actually had the power to change them. Just like how you can change the shape of your body at the gym, you can change the thoughts in your head with a little effort.

I ditched the nonstop negativity (that I didn’t even know I had when I started!) and gradually trained my brain for more constructive thoughts.

The better I got at this, the happier and more confident I became because I didn’t have this horrible bully (me) in my head telling me terrible things all day long. I had no idea that I was the one undermining my happiness and confidence this whole time.

The funny thing? Once I stopped *trying* to seem happy to others and started just doing the work on myself - people would tell me I’m happier than they’ve ever seen me, my social anxiety went away and life just felt so much BETTER - that’s the power of mastering your negative thoughts and turning your inner bully to your BFF.

In order to help you master your thoughts for good, I created a 5-day course called Bully to BFF, which includes my day-by-day formula for changing your thoughts for good. Oh, and did I mention it’s free?

Without the constant negativity - I had room for so much more happiness and joy and I hope I can help you create the same.